Every day I hear constant misconceptions of the word ‘positive’. To be a positive person does not mean to carelessly ignore the negative situations that arise in our lives. The truth is that ignoring all negativity often leads to these feelings being repressed and showing themselves at a later time, often more intensely; which is by no means healthy. However, living in constant negativity and always choosing to ignore the good you’re surrounded by in a state of self-pity or with a defeatist attitude is also no way to live.
I try to live my life in a happy medium. Everyone faces negative, maybe even toxic, situations (and people!) in their everyday life, but it’s how you consciously choose to perceive these events that makes all of the difference. Instead of letting negative situations take over you and your entire mood, realise that these situations are going to happen whether you let them make you overly angry or upset or not, so why waste the time? Why not focus on the positive aspects of your life instead? Or try to remember all of the good things that have happened to you that day (which you have probably subconsciously been ignoring!). Think about it like this, do you have control over the situation that is upsetting you? If so, change it. If not, why waste time worrying about it? Just take a moment to take a few breaths and make the conscious decision that you will not let this external source effect your internal emotions too drastically. I’m not saying it’s not okay to be upset, emotions are completely natural and it will take time to get used to letting things go, but eventually you will learn to acknowledge these feelings and move on!
You’ll find that by holding on to these negative emotions that you will actually bring more of these ‘bad’ events and emotions into your life. I’m a big believer in the Law of Attraction; that we manifest into our reality that which we focus our attention and emotions on. So by filling your mind with negativity, you will manifest more of this into your life. However, if you choose not to believe this there are other scientific theories that also prove that holding onto these emotions is no good for us… The psychological theory of confirmation bias suggests that we will ignore anything that doesn’t fit with our internalised beliefs, and accept everything that supports them. So if we choose to be in a bad mood, we will notice all of the negative situations happening to us and ignore any of the positive. Which means that when we choose to let events make us feel shitty, we are actually missing out on the good that we could be experiencing!
My life changed the day I realised that I didn’t need to constantly worry about events in the future or beat myself up about events of the past. I realised that the only moment we ever have is right now, so why do we spend it keeping hold of all of these negative emotions? We’re actually avoiding the happy life we want by internalising all of these worries and regrets, and that’s not the way I want to live; so I made the change. You can do the same.